Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
