Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
