he wants to bone in the snuggie
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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