my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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