Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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