when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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