Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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