Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
