Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize