I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
