I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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