You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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