Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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