You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
