I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
that is very illegal...i love you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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