I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
