does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
MIDGETS
????
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
