Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
