butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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