apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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