Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
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Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
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Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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