Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
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I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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