so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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