At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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