Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize