new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
vagina is talking i cant
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
