Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
