So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
