Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
