I got her a Nickelback box set.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
