If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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