I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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