if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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