Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The feeling are messing with the penis
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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