Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
