I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Who died my cat blue again?
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