Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
