Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We named our party play list daddy issues
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize