Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
