If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
