Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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