6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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