Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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