hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
