i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
