New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
