we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
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