My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize