if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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