Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
