I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
