What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My dick has a subreddit
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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