I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My vagina is officially offended.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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