no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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