If i come over, it means nothing
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
