I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
