tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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