Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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