I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
