He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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