They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
