Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
