He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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