i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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