I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's like God shit irony all over that family
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
