I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
