We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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