like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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