Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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